If only
by miyukeh
Summary: [MiSawa/KuraHaru]. Miyuki's parents winning 4 tickets to go on a trip overseas, they take Eijun's parents with them. Leaving Miyuki alone to take care of Eijun for somedays. Or more?
1. Chapter 1

"Kazuya!, come down from up there for a second, dear, we have guests."

The 17-year-old male clicked his tongue in annoyance, that's it, that's what happens everyday. From ever since the neighbors knew that his parents are traveling for some days, they won't stop annoying.

It all began when the Miyukis won on a contest, they also won 4 tickets, they tried begging Miyuki to come with them, but he kept refusing, he wasn't at all interested, he preferred staying in Tokyo with all of his other friends, so every time they ask him to change his mind he just comes up with a new excuse, forces himself to laugh, to please his parents, and not to make them feel that he really doesn't know, ending every excuse with "What a shame, I wanted to come!"

This time, it was kinda different, it wasn't any normal guests, it was a family he has never seen before. 2 weirdos and their kid, it looked like the kid is still in kindergarden or something. As for Miyuki, he disliked kids so much, he couldn't stand that kid for long.

"Kazuya, say hi to our old friends, the Sawamuras." his mom introduced the guests to him, the so-called lovely couple waved their hands at him, but as for the kid, he was hiding behind his mom's legs.

Miyuki glanced down at the kid, raising his eyebrow and sighing, _how annoying... _, then he quickly smiled and extended his hand to shake "Ah, oh my, my parents keep talking about you! I can't believe I had the honor to see you!" _no, the hell they didn't, I don't even know who you are.._

After he shook hands with the parents, he knelt down to the kid's height and tried to pat his head with a smile, but the kid squeezed his mom's dress while staring at Miyuki with a pout. Miyuki sighed, trying to keep his smile, _ah, this kids hates me._

"So, what brings you here?" Miyuki asks boldly, but his mom quickly hit the back of his head before rapping her arm around his shoulder whispering to him to take a better care of his manners, with a threatening tone. Miyuki hissed, and smiled again as if nothing happened.

"As long as you don't want to come with us, we still have 2 tickets, so.." Miyuki's dad pointed at them while continuing his talk "..they will come with us."

Miyuki makes an 'O' shape with his lips and nods as he understood, then he blinked "B-but wait..2 tickets?" he looked again at the Sawamuras, and blinked at the kid with a puzzled expression.

He looked at his mom pointing at the kid "Um, what are we gonna do with the bra-beautiful young gentleman?"

His mom clapped her hands while smiling at him, nodding her head twice "Yes, Kazuya, you will take a good care of him, right?"

Miyuki shrugged his shoulders "Well, yeah, of cour- wait what?"

Before he could take back his words, he was hugged tightly by his mom as she thanked him. Miyuki could do nothing except sighing and nodding his head slowly.

_God, help me.._

On the next day

"Now then, Kazuya, take care of Eijun, and yourself, also, we left some money in case you needed. The food is in the fridge. Ah, and there are colored pencils for Eijun, also there is-" Miyuki pushed his mom's back gently nodding his head

"I got it, mom, dad, take care of yourselves too, and please have fun, okay? I will take a good care of **Eijum**." he forced himself to laugh.

"Eijun!"

"Okay, I got it, Eijun. Sawamuras! Please have fu-." Miyuki stopped as he saw the kid sobbing to his mom begging her not to go, leaving him alone with that _stranger_. His mom kept patting his head, and promised to get him a present when she comes back. That actually was enough to make him stop crying. _Oh..kids.._

"We will call you when we get there, okay dear?"

"Okay, mom, have a safe trip." Miyuki said as he pulled Eijun up and picked him in his arms to have a better view of their parents.

And in a minute, they were out of their sight. "Now, let's go in, shall we?" He smiled as he opened the door and got in with Eijun on his arms.

"Eijun, it's dinner time!", Miyuki said as he sits the table down for both of them. Miyuki easily sat himself on the table chair, but he stole a glance at the kid next to him who has struggling so hard to get onto the chair.

Miyuki let out a small chuckle as he got up, picking Eijun, sitting him on the chair. "So, tell me, Eijun, what do you like? What do you hate?, tell me more about Eijun."

Miyuki sat down again as he gave the other a smile, placing his palm on his own cheek.

Eijun grabbed the spoon and slowly began eating, while messing the area around him with his food, making Miyuki smile more. He had no younger siblings, for him, it was the first time he sees this, maybe he can see it in movies, but seeing this in real life, to him, was a new experience.

"Hmm..for Eijun, I don't have anything I love more than the other. Of course Mama and Papa, but anything else, it is the same for me. Ah, Eijun dislikes vegetables..!"

"Huh? Oh no, Eijun doesn't. He is gonna finish all the vegetables in his plate right now, so that he will become a powerful man in the future."

"But-"

"Shh, if he finished them, Miyuki will bring him chocolate, how about that?"

Eijun huffed his cheeks as he slowly surrenders and starts eating his vegetables. And Miyuki kept watching silently, sighing. _They are sure late.._

_**Ring. Ring. Ring.**_

"Hmm? Is that mom?, wait here, Eijun, I will pick up your phone."

"Yes!"

_Dammit, stop being so cute, little kid..._"Yes, this is the Miyukis."

"Ah..yes..the Miyukis.. . Are you their eldest child?"

Miyuki blinked and looked at the phone, then answered again "Uh, yes, I am."

"Listen up." the caller said, "Take a deep breath."

_Silence filled the room. I felt like that was the moment when my life actually stopped. They left with a smile. Mom, dad, the Sawamuras. But, if what he is saying was right, I will probably never see this smile again. I will probably have to take care of this kid forever. I will probably have to plan for my life on my own. They are..gone. Gone. They are now above. Above these skies._

_I remember nothing more than the phone falling from my hand. Eijun ran towards me happily telling me he ate all his vegetables demanding for his prize. I dropped on my knees. I tried to hide the fact I was actually crying. If only..if only I have been a better son..if only I went with them. If only I died with them. If only I have died with them. Now, the Sawamuras are gone too. All of them are gone._

"Mi..yuki..?" Eijun looked at him with a sad expression. Somehow he understood that he was unhappy, but for another reason, he never knew why. He reached up his tiny hand to pat the other one's back "Are you okay?"

When Miyuki felt the tiny hand on his back, he shivered and quickly pulled Eijun into a tight hug, nodding many times "Yes..."

"Yes, Eijun, I'm alright."


	2. Chapter 2

_"This is Miyuki-kun, isn't it?"_

_"Yes, I'm him. How can I help you?"_

_"Okay, so according to the information we have here, your parents won in some contest, having 4 tickets to a trip, they went for it, having two of their friends, right?"_

_"Uh, yeah? The Sawamuras you mean?"_

_"..I see."_

_"Yes?"_

_"..We are sorry to inform you. The plane carrying them has crashed. With zero survivors."_

_"Wha-"_

_"The funeral will be held tomorrow morning."_

**_At that moment. I felt like my life began to get darker, and darker. I fell on my knees, I shut my eyes. It was already dark. I tried not to allow any of the tears to fall, I tried not to sob. I tried not to cry. It was so dark, so dark that I couldn't see anything. I could see no one. No one at all.._**

"Miyuki..Kazuya..? Are you alright? Do you feel ill?"

_**I could see no one, except him. I could feel his tiny hand on my back, patting it gently, or maybe rubbing it. His small voice reached my ears. I tried opening my eyes, I could see it. I could see his tiny figure in front of me. Looking at me with the most worried expression ever.**_

"Umm..don't be that sad, I can share my chocolate with yo-"

_**Before Eijun could continue his sentence, I quickly grabbed his arm into a tight hug. That kid somehow made me feel so good and so bad at the same time. I feel so bad, his parents died. I feel so bad that it is kinda our fault. If they hadn't gone with my parents, maybe only I will be suffering right now. But no, both of us are into this mess. I still cannot tell him, he is so young to understand that his parents are never coming back. It will only affect him badly. I decided to keep it as a little secret for myself.**_

"Yes..I'm alright."

"But-"

"So, you still want chocolate?"

"Will you join me?"

Miyuki broke the hug, forcing himself to smile at Eijun to reassure him that he is alright. "Yes, let's see who will get to finish it faster!"

After all, Eijun was the one who could finish his chocolate faster than Miyuki, who only kept staring at the chocolate, not wanting to talk, not even wanting to take a bit. He used to like chocolate, he didn't even want to share it with that kid. But now, maybe it would taste bitter to him, he ended up giving it to Eijun, who gladly ate it.

Miyuki was in deep thought : how could this happen? They all left with a smile on their faces, how come? Will I never see this smile again? Wait, what will I do now? I don't think the money they left will remain the same forever..wait what will I do with Eijun? His parents are also dead and-

"-zuya..Kazuya!"

Miyuki gasped as he heard his first name, he looked at the one calling him, which was Eijun. He blinked at him in confusion, then he took his tiny hands in his and looked at him.

"Ah, sorry, what is it?"

Eijun frowned a little, but he shrugged his shoulders and began yawning, Miyuki knew at once that he was sleepy, he let out a small chuckle as he stood up and picked him up in his arms "Come on, it is about time you sleep. But let's brush your teeth first."

He walked with Eijun on his arms to the bathroom, picked up a tiny toothbrush which has the name **Eijun** written on it. Miyuki put toothpaste on it, he looked at Eijun who was leaning his head on Miyuki's shoulder while holding his shirt, he indeed was sleepy.

Miyuki looked at him softly, he felt really bad for him, not being able to see his parents again. He was only 7, not like Miyuki who was 17 years old, he can take care of him, but what will he do to him?, he still have to learn a lot of things. And no one but Miyuki to teach him.

Miyuki tried to get Eijun's attention by placing his finger on his lips, "Open your mouth, Eijun.", Eijun lazily opened it and Miyuki took his hand, placing the toothbrush on him, then making his toothbrush reach to his teeth, "when you are done, you will go to bed, we have to go somewhere tomorrow."

It was a long night, full of tears and regrets for Miyuki, he was so confused. What he ought to do?, what he ought not to do? A lot of phone calls for him, from friends, relatives, neighbors, everyone expressing their sorrow and offering help. Miyuki thanking them for caring, and assuring them that everything will be fine one day.

On the next day, Miyuki had some troubles waking Eijun up, he was never good at dealing with kids, but eventually, Eijun woke up. He noticed that Miyuki was looking for something in his clothes, Eijun walked to him and sat next to him.

"What are you looking for?" Eijun asked Miyuki while starting at him, he noticed something looked strange about him.

It was early morning, Miyuki didn't get enough sleep, he was so tired after crying all night, and answering all the phone calls as fast as possible so that Eijun won't wake up. He was confused that he forgot to wear his glasses. Everything looked blur in front of him, he thought something was wrong in his eyes, but never noticed it was the glasses, "Do you have anything like black suit?"

Eijun blinked at the question, he looked at Miyuki, then at the clothes in front of him, he looked at him again, he grabbed the nearest ones to Miyuki and pulled them nearer to his face "Um, you mean these?"

Miyuki took it from him and narrowed his eyes in order to look at them better "Yes, this is it."

"Kazuya..aren't you forgetting something?" Eijun tilted his head at Miyuki while staring at his face.

"I'm not sure, but I really think that there is something wrong."

"Wait here!" Eijun stood up and ran to look for the glasses, which were placed on the table. Grabbing them, Eijun ran back to Miyuki and told him to kneel down to his height. Miyuki did so, and Eijun helped him to put on the glasses and stepped back with a smile "I think you are fine now!"

Miyuki blinked as he remembered he wasn't wearing them, he giggled, and stood up patting Eijun's head. "Now, let's put on these, we are going out."

Miyuki put on his own black suit, then he helped Eijun put on his own. Heading to where the funeral will be held.

There, Eijun saw many unfamiliar faces, unfamiliar expressions, a lot of people in black, a lot of tears, these weren't tears of joy, were they? It wasn't so nice for him, so he kept walking behind Miyuki, holding onto him. Whenever anyone goes to talk to Miyuki, Eijun starts hiding while grabbing the back of Miyuki's suit, as if he wants to tell him that he wants to go back home.

"Oh, Miyuki-kun!" A strange woman ran to Miyuki, and hugged him tightly, causing Eijun to step back in amazement.

"C-can you let go?" Miyuki protested, and Eijun tried to free him pulling his sleeve.

"I'm so sorry to hear wha-" before she could continue, Miyuki quickly broke the hug, putting his index over his own lips, whispering a "shh" to her as he glanced at Eijun.

But the woman didn't seem to understand what he was talking about, so she gasped and pointed at the kid, "Hey! Isn't that the one who his pa-"

Miyuki grabbed Eijun's arm, pulling him into a hug, making sure that his arms fully wrapped his head and his ears, so that he won't be able to hear anything. For Eijun, he totally thought something was wrong with that behavior, that place, all these black suits, these weird sounds, the bells, the tears. Everything was wrong.

Moreover..what about his parents?

[Coughs, Hello! Author is talking!, hope you loved my fic till now. Yes, please be patient, we are just starting _laughs, _thanks for the follows/favs/reviews, I'm looking forward to seeing more of them!]


	3. Chapter 3

During the funeral, Miyuki was given the rest of the things that was found from both of the Miyukis and the Sawamuras, the things that belonged to him. They were put on small bag, written on it some words of comfort.

By the end of that day, they managed to get back home. Miyuki thinking that Eijun didn't get to hear anything. Eijun thinking about what he hear. He was pretty sure he heard something about his own parents before he got hugged by Miyuki.

They walked back home, but Eijun noticed how Miyuki stopped in front of any shop which had some signs in it. Miyuki was firmly holding his hand as not to lose him. Well, Miyuki never wanted to lose anything else, it is already enough. Also, he wanted to find work, a part-time job, in order to earn money, in order to make Eijun live as he used to with his parents. Finally, at home, Miyuki placed the small bag on the shelf so that Eijun won't reach it.

Miyuki also thought about going to the Sawamura's place to get Eijun's things. But he never told Eijun about it.

On the next day, Miyuki got to wake himself up a little earlier, changing his clothes. He decided to go get Eijun things back, fortunately, the Sawamuras didn't live so far away from there. He just has to walk like 10 minutes to reach their place, as he remembered his mom told him about their place, always pointing at it, telling him it was the Sawamura's place. He also got to find the keys in the bag which came with Eijun.

Before going out, Miyuki decided to check if Eijun was sleeping well. He walked to the bed where Eijun was sleeping on. He smiled at his small figure sleeping peacefully. Ruffling his hair, he leaned to Eijun's small ear whispering "Don't be a bad boy, I will be back quickly.", and finally, he left.

On closing the door, announcing that Miyuki has left. The young kid slowly opened his eyes. He jumped of his bed, rubbing his ear with one of his hands in confusion, then he shrugged his arms. He called Miyuki several times to check if he was still there, but he wasn't.

He ran and grabbed a chair, he placed it under the shelf, he quickly climbed on it, he raised his hand to reach the bag, he couldn't, but he kept hitting on the shelf till it fell down, the things which were in it were now everywhere on the ground.

Jumping of the chair, he found somethings he could easily recognize, he found things like one of his mom's earrings, a necklace she wore before leaving, his dad's broken glasses. Eijun blinked, he asked himself why these things were there? why are there somethings lost?

He grabbed the other things, he didn't recognize any of them, except a ring which he remembered seeing on Miyuki's mom's finger.

The more he began recognizing all of these things, the more he got confused. Also Miyuki's strange behavior these days, it was suspicious.

Eijun glanced some letters on the table nearby, he walked to get them, he cleared his throat and slowly opened one of them.

"Dear, Sawamura..Ei-jun..", Eijun was still bad at reading, but he managed to understand.

"We are truly sorry about what happened," Eijun blinked, but continued reading "will you come to live with us from now on? You see, living alone will be hard, and you are still 7 years old. In your parents' will, they wanted you to live happily, may they rest in peace- please reply soon..your..aunt.."

Eijun stared at the letter, being so speechless, he threw the letter from his hands, quickly going back to the broken glasses, he shook his head, refusing to believe, the tears found their way on his cheeks. He began searching in some newspapers, surely, he would find something that would tell him if that was a lie, or if that was true. He grabbed the previous day's newspaper, quickly returning everything to its normal place, whipping the tears of his cheeks, he jumped on bed, because Miyuki will come back at anytime.

Eijun quietly opened the newspaper and looked at it, he gasped as he sees the breaking news, "A plane crashed, with zero survivors..yesterday?" he whispered as he tried to recall what happened.

The day before the previous day? After Dinner, Miyuki told Eijun he would give the chocolate, someone called and- someone called? Miyuki looked shocked, he also tried to hold his tears? Wait, he knew? Was this real? It is not a joke?

Eijun threw the newspaper hard at the ground, that's when Miyuki came back. Eijun grabbed the blanket and kept crying quietly. And Miyuki spent all of his other days not knowing that the 7-year-old kid knew about his little secret.

Both of them kept acting very strange towards each other. Miyuki being over-protective, Eijun being sad, or maybe ignoring everything said to him, he ignored what Miyuki told him, he got ill many times, Miyuki panics every time Eijun gets ill, afraid of that maybe, just maybe, Eijun will leave him all alone.

But things got better, days passed, weeks passed, both of them got to know one another more and more, the smile found its way to their faces again, each of them cared for the other greatly.

A year has passed, it is the school season again.

But, on the first day at school, Eijun got into many problems, he even had a fight with his classmates, and the bandages were all over his face.

"E-Eijun-kun! What will you tell Miyuki-san?" Haruichi asked as he shook his friend

Eijun didn't seem to care so much, he just sighed and pouted "It was their fault! I have nothing to tell him."

"B-but what if he asked me?"

"Like the hell he would."

"Eijun-kun! It is wrong to talk like this!" Haruichi panics a bit, Eijun ignoring that.

Miyuki steps into the school with Haruichi's brother, Ryousuke.

Haruichi stood in front of Eijun as if he tried to hide him from Miyuki, Miyuki blinked his eyes at the little kid, he grabbed his hand and shook hands with him, Haruichi blinked.

"Ah, you are my fan?" Miyuki said in a sarcastic tone.

Haruichi wasn't so sociable, he blushed and slapped Miyuki with his free hand, then he ran and hid behind his brother, who was very pleased with what has happened just now.

"Don't sob, you did well." Ryousuke patted Haruichi's head as he smirked at Miyuki.

"Ugh this lil- Eijun, it is time to-"

Miyuki stopped talking when he saw how messed up Eijun was, his clothes were messed up, his hair, bandages on his face. He sighed and sat on his knees, to be at Eijun's height, he began fixing his clothes, he tried to brush Eijun's hair with his fingers, "Uh, seriously,what has happened again?"

"Kazuya, it was-"

"It was their fault, yeah, I know."

"No really!"

"H-he drew something.." Haruichi said from behind his brother's legs, everyone looked at him

"HARUCCHI!"

"I-I am sorry Eijun-kun-"

Miyuki and Ryousuke looked at each other, then they looked at Eijun, "Show me what you drew." Miyuki demanded.

"No, I will not sho-" before he could continue, Miyuki pulled Eijun's small bag of his back and searched in it, Eijun looked nervous.

Miyuki could finally find the drawing which Haruichi was talking about. "Okay...that's a very nice drawing..but why are two guys..getting married?"

Eijun glared at Haruichi, but he was glared back at by his brother.

"Okay, who are in the dra- wait.. _I want to marry...Miyuki...Kazuya.._" Miyuki tried reading the title of the drawing, he slightly blushed as he saw it, he was speechless as he looked at Eijun, he wasn't sure how to reply to this.

"Pfft-" "B-BROTHER!" Ryousuke couldn't help but start laughing.

Miyuki hissed at Ryousuke, he grabbed Eijun's hand in his, "Time to go home." totally ignoring that drawing thing. "See you tomorrow, Ryo-san." "Yeah, later!"

On the way back home, Eijun squeezed Miyuki's hand, which made him look at him, "Why are you ignoring me?"

"I am?" "Yes you are.."

"What did I ignore?" "Will you accept it?"

Miyuki stopped, he cleared his throat as he thought of an answer, "Let's go home first."

"No, I don't want to!" Eijun freed his hand and started running away from Miyuki.

"Wai-Eijun!" Miyuki was about to start running, when Eijun tripped over a stone and fell on the ground. He even started sobbing, Miyuki quickly caught up with him.

He knelt again and grabbed Eijun's arms, making him stand on his feet, "Seriously..are you okay?" he started brushing the hair off Eijun's forehead to check if he got injured on his forehead or something. But something caught his attention. He deeply cared for that kid, he gets afraid whenever anything, even if it was little, he loved like everything in him, in that one year, his eyes, his smile, they way he tries to behave like an adult, everything.

Eijun blinked as Miyuki stared at him in the eyes, he frowned "W-what is it?"

"..." Miyuki looked away "..Fine."

"Huh?"  
"Let's achieve what you drew.."

"What?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Miyuki looked both embarrassed and pissed off, he flicked Eijun's forehead "I will take back my words if you asked again."

"Really?" Eijun began to smile happily, he jumped in excitement, Miyuki smirked and nodded.

Eijun began running around him happily "Come on, get up, get up, let's go back home, what are we going to eat today?"

"Tsk, there you go again.." Miyuki took his hand again "whatever you want."

Like that, they reached home, and another day has passed in their lonely life.

_Maybe, things can change? After, how many years..things can change._


	4. Chapter 4

_The days passed, I kept living with Kazuya, hoping that one day, he would tell me the truth he has hidden from me. Why can't he tell me that my parents are dead? Why is he keeping such a thing to himself? Suffering alone. This must be tough. I too, want to help._

_I want to help that guy_ who_ kept smiling at me no matter what. Who kept protecting me. Who helped me. Whose hand has held mine firmly. Who didn't abandon me, though, we are strangers. Me as Sawamura Eijun, him as Miyuki Kazuya. These differences in names, in ages, I'm still running after him, chasing his footsteps. _

_I too, want to pay him back for everything. For these 10 years which we spent together..he never thought one second of letting go off me. Me neither, I am not thinking of letting go. My heart had these overloading feeling, I can't keep them a secret anymore. I have to tell him. These feelings has to reach him. It has been like that, a long time ago. I felt freaking jealous whenever I see him smiling to someone else. Talking to girls. Even stopping to talk with me to answer his phone calls. Seriously..I can't afford to lose this place in his heart..or, I hope I have a place there, even if it was just a little. I'm gonna make it much bigger. I have to keep him for myself. _

_Today..17 November. Today, Kazuya is turning 27 years old._

"Eijun-kun..are you sure?"

"Yes! I have been waiting my whole life for this moment."

"What if he refused..?"

"What! Don't be pessimistic, Harucchi!, it will work out in a way or another." Eijun laughed nervously

"Th-there! You are nervous."

"N-ah, Harucchi, I'm hanging up, I have to get the things ready before Kazuya comes back!"

"Uh-huh, good luck, Eijun-kun."

"I will need that!" Eijun chuckled before hanging up.

Haruichi stared as his phone for some seconds, before putting it on the table and lying on the couch, he sighed and closed his eyes for some seconds.

"Hey."

Haruichi slowly opened his eyes and gasped when he saw his brother face's above of his own, he quickly got up "Y-you scared me!"

Ryousuke smirked at him, then shrugged his shoulders "What's up with your buddy?"

Haruichi blushed for a minute and looked down "H-he will c-confess.." he answered with a low voice.

"Huh?"

"He will confess!" Haruichi repeated, raising his voice a bit.

"To who?" "Miyuki-san." "He must have lost him mind, finally." "O-onii-san! Maybe it will work out."

"Yeah, you are right."

"Huh?"

"I said you are right. I mean, you and Sawamura has never seen how Miyuki actually is whenever someone brings Sawamura up in front of him."

Haruichi blinked, but he kept wishing everything would be fine for Eijun, maybe, just maybe, it will really work out.

**_Good luck, Eijun kun.._**

By 6 o'clock at the evening, Eijun could finally get everything ready, he could cook what Miyuki loved, he tided the house, he prepared everything for the other to feel comfortable, he took a deep breath to prepare himself.

"I'm ho-" Miyuki sighed as he entered ", I told you not to tire yourself every year, Eijun."

Eijun turned his back and smiled at him, he quickly ran to him, grabbing his arms and pulling him to the couch "Welcome home!, know what today is?"

Miyuki smiled softly at the other and giggled "Well, 17 November?"

"Correct! Which is?"

"Mmm, that's a tough one. Um, my birthday?" Miyuki pretended to be thinking at first, keeping his smile on his lips.

Eijun grabbed a spoon and placed it under his own chin "Congratulations, sir, you have won a prize with us! What would you like to have?"

Miyuki laughed and patted his head "Enough, let's eat."

Eijun nodded his head. As they sat down and began eating, Miyuki told Eijun how delicious the food was. Eijun standing on the chair bragging about it. Miyuki laughing telling him to sit down and eat first, then he could brag however he wants. They had a good time.

"Ah, I'm full!" Miyuki said as he threw himself on the couch. Eijun walked to him with a nervous expression, but he tried to hide it with a cheerful look as always.

Living together for 10 years, Miyuki could easily see through him, he folded his arms over his chest, looking up at the 17-year-old one in front of him.

"What is it?"

"Ah, no, since it is your birthday, don't you want to make a wish?"

"I think I grew up for these sort of things."

"No! Kazuya! Make a wish!"

Miyuki blinked and stared at Eijun, he didn't see what he really wanted. Miyuki thought for a moment, he decided to make some sort of a joke.

"Okay, I want to have a cute girlfriend, get married, have kids. Happy?" he laughed sarcastically

Actually, Miyuki somehow chose the worst joke ever, as the other one took it seriously, he pouted at him, he even got a bit angry, he held the sides of his shirt in his fists.

"No..."

"Hmm?"

"I dislike this wish.."

"You were the one who told me to make a wish."

"I..don't want you to take care of anyone, but me.."

Miyuki sat himself up properly on the couch as he looked at Eijun in confusion, he wasn't sure what was in his mind, or what made him upset.

Miyuki smirked "What are you? Do you love me?"

"Can't I?" Eijun whispered. Miyuki widened his eyes in surprise, he never expected such an answer. He bit his own lower lip, thinking of what he should say.

He knows that deep, deep below in there, he cared so much for Eijun, he clearly knew how precious he was to him. But was that because he felt guilty? Or was it because he felt the same way? He over thought in these minutes, he over thought about that important fact, which has made him angry.

"Eijun.."

"Can't I love you after all of that?"

"Sit down."

"It has been 10 years. Do you know how long have I waited to say this?"

"You really mean it?"

"I do."

"Then I will have to give you a reply, which is I'm sorry, your feelings didn't reach me."

"Don't tell me..you are blaming yourself?"

"I have no reason to."

"Yes you do! You haven't told me about their death, for 10 years!"

Miyuki quickly looked up at Eijun with the most shocked expression ever, he was speechless, he was sure he kept it a secret, and no other one told him about. "Since when did you..?"

"Since that day we went to their funeral." Shouting Eijun, he placed his hand over his chest, clutching his shirt as he began sobbing "That was the day I knew everything, I waited till you are ready to tell me, it has been 10 years, Kazuya, and you didn't think of telling me? Even so, why didn't you let go off me? Why didn't you throw me anywhere? Why?"

At that moment, Miyuki stood up and walked to Eijun, he shouted back at him "Yes, you are right, I blamed myself! It has been **_my_** parent's fault for that! So, I kept you in here. I have no feelings for you, and I don't even care what is going to happen to you. You are here because you have no place to go. If you do, then get out of here!"

"You said it!" "Oh, yes I did."

Each of them walked to their own rooms in anger, Eijun's broken heart, yet Miyuki not being honest of how he felt. They both couldn't make their feelings reach for the other.

_Get our of here..he said? Uh, dammit, I should have listened to Harucchi, I can't blame Kazuya, we are total strangers after all..of course he doesn't like me..the hell he wou-_

Eijun stopped thinking as the wind blew his hair, he blinked and looked at from where it was coming from. From the window. He ran to it, he looked down and thought again _Hmm, that's not so high._ Eijun climbed on the window's border, took a deep breath, he looked back at the door behind him, he smiled sadly.

_Kazuya, sorry for troubling you these 10 years, now, have a happy life, make sure you would find yourself a cute girlfriend, get married, having kids. Achieve what I drew 9 years ago, but with the one you love._

On that, Eijun jumped to the ground, it wasn't so high, but it was high enough to make him trip and fall of many times, that his arms, face, feet got a lot of scratches on them.

_**Knock. Knock. Knock.**_

Haruichi blinked, it was 10 at the evening, who would it be?, "Yes?"..there was no answer.

**_Knock. Knock. Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._**

"Ah- yes, I'm coming!" Haruichi ran to the door and opened it, he gasped at what he has seen "Eijun-kun!"

In front of him, Eijun's face and arms were full of scratches and dirt, he looked somehow upset, his eyes were a little red "W-what happened?"

"Can I stay here this night?"

On hearing Haruichi being so noisy, his brother came to see what was going on. He whistled on seeing how messed up Eijun was "It didn't work out?"

"O-onii-san!"

Eijun shook his head slowly, and looked down, he grabbed his own hair in his fist "I failed so freaking hard.."

"Haruichi, help your friend and make him take a bath, also, the first aid is over there, I will tell Miyuki."

"Don't tell Miyuki about me. He won't care."

Ryousuke and Haruichi looked at each other in confusion, they shrugged their shoulders, Haruichi patted Eijun's back and smiled at him "Cheer up, at least he know how you feel for him, Eijun-kun!"

_Get out of here? What did you say, Miyuki Kazuya! You have gone out of your mind. Do you know how much you treasure this little kid? Uh, I said to much..maybe I should apologize. But what should I say? Uh dammit. It is true that I felt guilty and all, but I'm sure this isn't everything. I felt it, I felt my heart beating loudly in my chest, to answer his feelings. But I wasn't sure if these were my true feelings. Or that's me over thinking. _

_I, Miyuki Kazuya, who lived with a stranger for 10 years, slowly he has become everything to me, my family. How could I easily let go off him. _

_Sawamuras..forgive me, I failed.._

_I have to make it up for him._

_I have to talk to him._

"Hey, Eijun!"


	5. Chapter 5

_Get out of here, are you out of your mind, Miyuki Kazuya? Do you understand how important this kid is to you? No, I should talk to him. But should I, just should I answer his feelings? When I am myself not even sure of mine? Uh, frustrating.._

_In these 10 years. I actually thought Eijun acted strangely, he asked a lot about his parents, and I kept telling him that they call me when I am at work, so he can't get to talk with them. And he just stared at me, and nodded. Whenever I want to assure him they are still in this world, I buy whatever, and tell him that his parents send it, in front of me, he looked happy, truly happy._

_But he knew all along? He was acting?, no, he knew when he was so young? How did I not notice it? Why did I not tell him till now? Kazuya..why?_

_Instead of sitting and regretting the past, I should move forward. I have to talk to him. Right now._

Miyuki got up from his bed, opened the door, quickly walking to Eijun's. He knocked on the door, waiting for a reply. But there was none.

"Eijun, we need to talk."

_**Ticktock. Ticktock. Ticktock.**_

Seconds passed. A minute passed. There still was no answer.

"Did he fall asleep? Ei-" Miyuki opened the door, and wind blew his hair because of the opened window. His eyes widened in surprise, he shook his head "No..", without thinking, he quickly ran to the window, he looked down to the ground. Right. Left. Up. Wherever. There was no sign of him.

"..He ran away?" he gritted his teeth in shock.

_Why?..I was about to talk to him. _

_I was going to be honest with him.._

"I was honest with him!" Eijun shouted while sobbing, he was crying all night, telling Haruichi what has happened between them, Ryousuke sitting nearby, listening to all of these complaints.

"Eijun-kun, I am sure he didn't mean to-"

"Yes he did! He was angry..!" Eijun grabbed his hair in his fist "He told me to go out..he told me that he didn't care anymore. I knew it, I was someone who wasn't important after all."

"Not important? Sawamura, don't jump into conclusions." Ryousuke added as he tool the TV remote and switched on the TV, switching channels over and over, with a bored expression.

Being Angry, Eijun jumped to his feet, while Haruichi was still treating his wounds "E-Eijun-kun!", he stood in front of the TV and stared at Ryousuke "Why the hell are you taking his side, when you know nothing?!"

"Know nothing..huh.."

_To be honest, I know more than you do..Sawamura. I have known Miyuki before you. I have seen how much he has changed, from a loner, to a caring person. Year by year, I have seen him changing so much, caring about you, so damn much._

_"Miyuki, aren't you done shopping?"_

_"One minute, Ryo-san.."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Uh, today is a special day, I'm not sure what should I get?"_

_"What? Did you get a girlfriend?" Ryousuke laughed_

_"Yes~" _

_"What?"_

_"Just kidding."_

_"Seriously.. then go find yourself one, you now have a job, earn money, 26 years old, you will do fine!" Ryousuke patted Miyuki's back so hard, making him lose balance for some seconds._

_"Uh- No, thanks, I don't want a girlfriend." Miyuki answered, slightly pouting._

_"Why not?" _

_At that moment, Miyuki smiled to himself softly, "I have someone way more important to spend my life with."_

_"Hmm, so what's with the special day thing?"_

_"Today is 15 May, it is that someone's birthday."_

_Isn't 15 May your birthday..Sawamura?_

"Whatever, go sleep!" Ryousuke orders Sawamura as he picks his own cellphone up and walks to the door.

"O-oniisan where are you going?" Haruichi asked

"Out for a walk, I will be back shortly."

The door was opened as Ryousuke went out, quickly got closed.

"Eijun-kun, let me treat your wounds first.." Haruichi demanded as he pulled Eijun's sleeve to make him sit down.

"Ah, hello, this is Miyuki, I'm sorry but have you seen Eijun nearby? Yes? Ah, is that so? Oh no, just asking. Thanks."

"Hello? Did you see Eijun?"

"Yes Miyuki is talking? Uh, so not yet? Thank you.."

"Hello?"

"Uh, where did you go, Eijun?" Miyuki finally returned home after running all over the places he knows, looking for Eijun, he also called some of the people both of them knew, but no one has seen Eijun in that windy night. Miyuki threw himself on the couch, he placed his arm over his eyes, he felt guilty. He regretted everything he said hours ago. "What if he got lost?, what if he got hurt?" Miyuki gasped as he placed his palm on his mouth, he then placed his head between his hands, his heart beating so fast, he was in deep thought, he felt he was about to sob, he shut his eyes so hard.

_Sawamuras..I'm sorry.._

At that moment, his cellphone started ringing, he jumped and gasped. He grabbed his phone hopping to see Eijun's name on it. But it was Ryousuke.

"..Hello? Ryo-san?"

"What? You sound like you are so upset, what happened?"

"..I did something so uncool, Ryo-san."

"What have you done?"

"..I said many cruel things to Eijun. I even told him to get out. Now, he is no longer in this house, I don't know where did he go?" Miyuki sighed as he talked quickly.

"Hey Miyu-"

"What if he is hurt?, what if he is lost?, what if something really bad happened to him?, it is all my fault, you see?, I wanted to make things up with him, I wanted to tell him I was wrong, I wanted to give him a proper reply."

"He is safe."

Miyuki blinked his eyes, and he suddenly stood up quickly "What?"

"Don't you hear me? He is safe, with a broken heart, he is in our place."

Miyuki sighs in relief "Thanks god. I am coming now."

"Hmm, I don't think it will be a good idea though."

"At least, I want to make Eijun see that I care much about him. As much as he does."

"..OK, come if you want, I am waiting for you."

Miyuki hung up, quickly putting his cellphone in his pocket, he ran to the door with a smile on his face, though he was worried, nervous, feeling guilty.

_Eijun..I'm coming! I will see you again. Thanks god, you are safe! Wait for me!_

After 15 minutes of running, Miyuki could finally reach to the Kominatos apartment, Ryousuke patted Miyuki's back, telling him to get ready for whatever is going to happen. Miyuki nodded his head, taking a deep breath. He will do it. He will apologize properly.

"Okay, Eijun-kun, I'm done!"

"That took forever, uh, seriously..!"

"Well, that's because you are reckless, who the hell would jump off a window? Are you trying to commit suicide?"

"Ugh, I had no other choice, you know."

"I'm back."

"Oh, Onii-san, welcome home, did you bring someone with you?" Haruichi walked to the door to his brother, he blinked his eyes and gasped as he saw the one who was with him, Miyuki nodded his head to him. Haruichi turned to look at Eijun with a worried expression.

"Umm, Eijun-kun.."

"Huh?"

"Come for a seco-"

"No, I will come in." Miyuki interrupted, he took his steps into the house, "sorry for disturbing."

Ryousuke entered after him, he closed the door behind him "Good for you, Sawamura, Miyki came to get his boyfriend back home."

Eijun frowned, he stood up then stepped back "W-what brings you here?"

Haruichi walked to him, he whispered "He came to apologize to you, isn't that good?"

"What the hell..?" Eijun looked at Haruichi, then he looked back at Miyuki.

No doubt, he admired this man in front of him, deep in his heart, he was ready to go back, he was ready to forgive. But that won't change the fact the this man who he loved so much has broken his heart.

"I don't want to come back."

"Eijun," Miyuki walked towards him, "Eijun, hear me out, what I said was-"

"Was a lie? Was because I was angry? How can I believe you? You said it all, you said you never cared!"

"If I didn't care, I would have got rid of you earlier. Why can't you understand this?"

"...B-because.."

"You can't answer me, right? You have no answer, right? Because it is the truth, I can't get rid of you, you have become my family, Eijun" Miyuki took another steps to Eijun, who stepped back and shouted at him "Don't come! The fact that you hurt me hasn't changed! I hate you, you heard me?"

Miyuki looked at Eijun sadly, he was speechless, he gave out a sigh "Eijun.."

"Do you know..how that hurt?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to understand how much that hurt?" Eijun ran towards Miyuki, actually wanting to hurt him somehow, but Miyuki could dodge it, although he was pretty shocked.

"Eijun-kun!"

"Miyuki!"

Both of the Kominatos pulled Miyuki and Eijun away from each other.

"Let go of me, Harucchi!"

"Eijun-kun, you have gone mad!"

"Miyuki, get out of here right now!"

"W-wait, Ryo-san, but Eijun!"

"He won't accept you know right now. You guys wanna pick up a damned fight? Haruichi, take care of your friend, I'm taking Miyuki out of here."

"I- I got it!"

"EIJUN!"

_Like that, I have failed at bringing him back home. He wanted to hurt me as much as I did. I still haven't apologized properly..I still haven't.._

Miyuki was kicked out by Ryousuke. Like that, he went back home alone.

As for Eijun, they could finally make him calm down. Haruichi knew that Eijun was so angry that he doesn't remember what has happened, Haruichi told him that Miyuki came to apologize, but Eijun was about to punch him and pick up a fight, but it was successfully stopped.

Eijun widened his eyes in shock, he looked at his hands. _Did I try to hurt..Kazuya...?. _As much as Miyuki regretted what he has said, Eijun regretted his action. He was just about to make the one he loves the most get injured.

At the meantime, Ryousuke was talking to Miyuki on the phone.

"Did Eijun calm down?"

"Yes, he is a bit better too, though he can't recall what has happened just now so much. But at least he is not angry."

"That's good to hear." Miyuki chuckled bitterly.

"Miyuki, it is about time to sleep seriously, it was a long night and-"

"Ryo-san..I want to hear his voice again.."

Ryousuke sighed "But don't talk to him, or else he will get mad again."

"I promise.."

"Hey, Sawamura, take this damned cellphone and say 'Aaaa' "

"Huh? What the hell? Why?"

Ryousuke hissed "Are you going to do what I say or I will kick you out of here!"

"Ugh..I got it, I got it..." Eijun took the cellphone from Ryousuke, he raised his eyebrow then he placed it on his ear "...aaa?"

"..Eijun.."

Eijun's heart thumped when he heard the voice in the other end, it was filled with joy, fear, love, guilt, "Wha-"

"I'm truly sorry, for lying to you, for not telling you about your parents. You are right, I felt guilty. I was afraid. Afraid of losing you. What if I lost one more person in my life? What would I have done if I were alone without you. I was afraid, I couldn't tell you about it. I'm sorry, Eijun."

"Kazu-"

"Eijun, I also understood how I can't continue living my life without you. How you made me happy. I was so worried when I knew you left. Eijun, come back to me."

"Why..?"

"Hm?"

"Give me a reason.."

"Because our feelings are mutual.."

_Yes, Eijun..I love you._


	6. Chapter 6

"Our feelings are Mutual, Eijun..I love you."

"Kazuya-"

"Will you come back to me?"

_At that moment, I heard Eijun sob silently, then it got louder, louder, and louder, he just hummed __**Mhm-mn **__before agreeing that he wants to come back. We remained silent for few minutes. I finally got what he said, I quickly stood up, I told him to stay there, and that I would go get him._

_I'm going to see him, I will see Eijun._

_We hung up. Both of us stood up. Both of us ran out of the places we were in. He ran so fast, I ran so fast, I could hear my heart beats, I wasn't sure if I was excited? Nervous? Happy? Maybe I'm happy, yeah, these minutes we ran to each other was more like days, months, years away from each other._

**_I ran as fast as I could, I will see Kazuya! I will apologize, I will tell him that I am sorry, I can tell him that I don't hate him, I will tell him that I love him so much, I want to hear those words from him again. Just a few steps, and I will see.._**

"Kazuya!"

Eijun shouted as he stood in his place to catch his breath, looking at the other one at a distance ahead of him. Miyuki gave him a soft smile, waved a hand at him. He took a few steps forward, he stopped and opened his arms. Eijun blinked and smiled, forget about taking his breath, he started running again in his full speed to Miyuki, step after step, he jumped into Miyuki's arm, in few seconds, both of them were giving the other the tightest hug they could offer

"Welcome home, Eijun." Miyuki whispered in Eijun's ear, which made him shiver. That quiet voice which he loved. No, that person who he loved so much, who he spent most of his life with, he was now closer to him than ever. As if, this was only a dream.

Breaking the hug, Miyuki turned his back to Eijun, he knelt down, offering him a piggy back ride, which Eijun happily accepted. wrapping his arms around Miyuki's shoulders, Miyuki walked home carrying him.

"Kazuya.."

"What is it, Eijun?"

"I'm sorry for being selfish..I shouldn't have said anything at that ti-"

"What are you talking about?, idiot. I think it was a good timing."

Eijun pouts "Idiot.."

"Yeah, you are an Idiot. You ruined my birthday, you ran away, you were even about to punch me."

And like that, both of them remained silent till they reached home. Eijun feeling a bit upset, Miyuki having no exact expression, just acting as normal as always. When they reached home, Eijun jumped off Miyuki's back, he went into the house before him. Taking of his shoes, he murmured "I'm home." and silently entered.

He blinked as the lights were still open, he sighed as he went to turn them off "What..Kazuya, you should have turned off the lights." he said as everything went dark.

It went dark. Eijun could see nothing.

_**Grab.**_

Eijun gasped as he felt a hand firmly holding his arm, pulling him, then quickly pushing his back to the wall which was behind him. He flinched as his back hit the wall, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at who did that.

"Ka-Kazuya, what are you doi-?"

Before he could continue his sentence, Miyuki placed his thumb on the other's lips, "Shh..", he whispered as he leans to rest his forehead on Eijun's "You maybe have ruined my birthday, I hurt you, you hurt me, you hurt yourself. But now, I think I received my presented, which I have waited to get it for years. Eijun, you may have ruined my birthday, but it is only one day, both of us can make it up for today, can't we?"

Eijun kept staring speechlessly at the one in front of him, he wanted to reply to what Miyuki has just said, but he couldn't, for 2 reasons : one because he was speechless. The other was because Miyuki caressed his lower lip that make Eijun's heart beat so hard that he couldn't concentrate at anything. He shut his eyes, held tightly on Miyuki's shirt, he nodded his head twice slowly.

"I- I will make it up..for..you.." Eijun said with a low voice.

Kazuya smirked, he tilted his head to give Eijun a kiss on his lips, but he quickly pulled back when he felt Eijun's hold got tighter on his shirt.

"Next time, shout when you answer as you always do, so that I would hear you."

Eijun slowly opened his eyes, he felt that his own chest was filled with emotions, but his expression was almost as if he was about to sob, which make Miyuki blink in confusion.

"What is it, Eijun? Shouldn't I have done that?"

Eijun quickly shock his head and hugged Miyuki, wrapping his arms around his neck, he whispered "No, I love it, I love everything coming from you, Kazuya, I love you."

Miyuki chuckled and patted his back "What? Is that all?" He wrapped his arms around Eijun's waist, "I love you too."

_It was such a long..bitter sweet night.._

"Onii-san, it is good that both of them got on well with each other that quick, isn't it?"

"Yeah..I'm so happy that this annoying brat won't spend the night with us, he will keep sobbing, shouting, annoying, ugh, Miyuki should have done that sooner."

"O-onii-san..that's rude..."

"Now, let's go to bed. We have stayed awake enough for the day."

"Yep~"

_And like that, all of us went to bed. The Kominato's. The last of the Miyukis. The last of the Sawamuras. All on their own beds. _

_Not quite-_

_It was like 4 a.m. , I had no work on the coming day. Eijun has no school. It was holiday._

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._**

_"Hmm? Is someone knocking on my room door?..Or I'm still dreaming..?"_

**_Knock. Knock. Knock ...open._**

"Ka-Kazuya.."

On hearing Eijun's voice, Miyuki rubbed his eye, replying to him with a simple "Hmm?" with his sleepy voice.

"I had a nightmare-"

Miyuki laughed as he heard what Eijun said, "You are 17 and you still have nightmares?". Miyuki raised his hand, waving at Eijun "Come here."

Eijun slowly walked to Miyuki, who rolled to the far edge of the bed, patting the free part telling Eijun to join on it, which he did nervously.

"Today is a holiday." Miyuki said as he pulled Eijun's head to his own chest "Both of us slept late, and now, we have no reason to wake up early. And as for your nightmares, don't worry, I will make sure they go away. Get back to sleep, Eijun." Miyuki caressed Eijun's hair while speaking. And Eijun closed his eyes smiling happily, he nodded his head.

"Goodnight, Kazuya!"

"It is not a night anymore.." chuckled Miyuki.

_We cleared things with each other. Everything was back to normal. Better than normal. It was like a new turn in our lives. I surely hope everything remains like this. I truly hope so. _

_I'm still not so sure what may happen in the future..whether it was between us.._

_Or between our friends.._


	7. Chapter 7

_Eijun..I felt Eijun's body, Eijun's hands, Eijun's breath. I knew he was there. I knew he was next to me. I knew it, and I never want this feeling to disappear. I want Eijun to be there forever. I realized how much I liked him. I loved him. I knew that I have been lying to myself, I had the right to hide my feelings, but they kept overloading in my chest. _

_That's right..Eijun..depend on me more, tell me how you feel, make me understand what I couldn't in these past years. Tell me that you love me, once more._

_I failed many times, in everything, I failed in providing Eijun what he needed. I tried hundred of times to a proper job with a good salary to help him, but I kept failing. But Eijun? Eijun stayed by my side. Cheered me up. Told me it was OK. Told me not to give up. _

_He never gave up either..on me._

_In return, what have I done? More like I killed his parents? If I had gone with my parents, I would never have met him. He would never have met me. I will die. His parents will remain alive. Won't both of us have been happier?_

_But no, I was selfish. I didn't listen to my parents. More importantly, when his mother left..he was crying..he wanted her to stay. Dammit. I ruined his life from the second I met him._

_Not only that. I also broke his heart, I told him to get out. I told him I didn't care._

_I failed so hard. _

_Forgive me..Eijun_

At that moment, Eijun felt Kazuya's hands wrapped around him, pulling him into a very tight hug. He thought he almost heard Kazuya sobbing, though he was still sleepy, he opened his eyes to make sure. But he was right, the one he loved was really sobbing.

"Kazuya?"

"Hmm?"

Eijun, lazily, reached out his hands to cup Kazuya's face "Why are you crying?"

Kazuya wiped the tears of his eyes with his sleeve "Eijun, I just thought, how can you still like me after what has happened."

Eijun blinked "If you are talking about yesterday, it is fine, you were angry. Not to mention that I chose the wrong ti-"

"Not that! Not only yesterday, but the day before, and the one before that. The last month, the last year. These 10 years. How can you like me after all of that?"

Eijun stared at him silently, he knew it, he knew that Kazuya has always felt guilty for the past 10 years, he couldn't blame him, he would have done the same if he was in his shoes.

Kazuya's tears rolled down his cheeks, he bit his own lower lip "I was wrong at many things. I ignored how you have always felt towards me, not noticing your feelings, not taking a good care of you. If only I had spent more time with you, helped you, talked to you, laughed with you, told you the truth, wouldn't all of that have been better?"

Eijun smiled sadly at him, he wiped his tears with his thumb "Well, what happened has happened. Stop blaming yourself on everything."

"Eijun, wouldn't it have been better if I went with my parents instead?"

Eijun's eyes widened, he remained silent for a minute "Do you mean..dying instead of my parents?"

Kazuya closed his eyes and freed his face off Eijun's hands, he turned his back to him "Forget it, Eijun, I think I'm still tired of yesterday after all."

Eijun was left in his shock, he kept staring at Kazuya's back, thinking of what he said.

For Eijun, he only lived 17 years of his life, most of them was with the one next to him. As for him, not having any photos of his parents, he barely remembers how they looked like. Long ago, he forgot the idea of having parents, he forgot how it was like to have ones, he forgot what _parents_ even mean. For him, he only cares about _him._

Sinking in his thoughts. Sinking in his tears. Kazuya's life slowly turned dark in front of him. As dark as it was when he first heard about his parents. He was still lost in this world, he didn't know what to do. He couldn't express his feelings to Eijun. It was so dark, he could see nothing. Hear nothing. He was stuck between his thoughts.

_**Grab.**_

Suddenly, Kazuya's shoulder was grabbed, making his back rest on the bed, both of wrists are held. Blinking his eyes, it was blur as he wasn't wearing his glasses. But he was sure that it was only _him._

Both of his wrists being held, Eijun face in front of his, he used his knees, legs, and hands to balance himself over Kazuya, looking at him with determined eyes, full of anger, sadness, and love.

"You mean you wanted to die, Kazuya?"

For Kazuya, he was sure he could see Eijun, he was sure he heard his voice, but his mind was blank, he couldn't give him a reply, he just looked up, up at Eijun.

Eijun looking down at him, he squeezed his wrists "Kazuya, if you haven't been here, my life would have been meaningless! When I knew about my parents, I admit I was shocked, I admit I tried to hate you. But I couldn't, you have been always beside me, working for my sake, you came back late every night, you tried many different jobs, you hurt yourself a lot, but you still feel guilty?"

Eijun himself, couldn't hold back the tears which fell from his eyes down to Kazuya's cheeks, which made Kazuya return back from his thoughts to the real life.

Eijun crying above him, crying for his sake. While he did nothing for him.

"I have never thought once of leaving this house, day by day, I looked up at you, I liked you, I loved you, I admired you. Why can't you understand this, Kazuya?"

Eijun rested his forehead on Kazuya's, whispering "If you felt guilty, I will feel the same, your parents have also died, not only mine, but now, I only have you, you only have me. Don't blame yourself, Kazuya. Don't forget how much I loved you, for these 10 years." Eijun intertwined his fingers with Kazuya's as he kissed his forehead.

Kazuya gasped, he freed one of his hands from Eijun's grasp, wrapping it on Eijun's waist, keeping his fingers intertwined with Eijun's in the other hand "I'm sorry." he said, and quickly pulled Eijun down onto him, the sudden contact made Eijun blush.

"Eijun, I'm sorry for everything that happened, from now on, I promise, I won't disappoint you."

"W-well, you have never disappointed me." but Eijun nods his head, "I won't either."

Kazuya sighed, as if he has finally rested his mind, he could make Eijun understand what he has always kept in his chest, that made him almost die. Eijun understood, and in return, he still loved him.

Kazuya kissed Eijun's jawline "I think from now on, I can say it, I can tell you that I felt the same, I can admit that I really love you."

Eijun blushing on hearing Kazuya's words, he wasn't sure how to reply, he just nodded, resting his head on Kazuya's chest, he mumbled "Y-you know how I feel, so I won't have to say it.."

Kazuya smiled "Well, I would love to hear it everyday, how you feel."

"Ah, anyway, you were tired, can you go back to sleep, then we will talk about it?"

"Hmm, if you don't give me something, I'm afraid I won't sleep."

"Kazuya!"

"Oh, I'm fully awake~"

"Grr-" Eijun gave up and quickly kissed his cheek "Sleep!"

Kazuya chuckled, he turned to the side of the bed, pulling Eijun down on it with him "Now, I'm so sleepy, sorry for waking you up." he gave the other a kiss on his lips before closing his eyes.

"I can't believe you were crying a second ago-"

_At least, my thoughts, my tears, everything reached Eijun, he has decided not to turn his back to me, I decided that I won't turn my back to him, it was too late for doing so, as our hearts have already made a tight connection, that I will properly take care of._

_Because I madly like him as he does._


	8. Chapter 8

"Haruichi."

"What is it, Onii-san?"

"Do you have plans for today?"

"Umm, not really, why?"

"There's someone I want you to meet."

Ryousuke smirked at his younger brother at usual, while Haruichi wasn't comfortable with that smirk, it is not like he will say no to him, he nodded his head slowly, and Ryousuke went somewhere.

Haruichi sighed. _That's right, it is not like I will refuse, anyway, I have nothing to do. Day by day, the relationship between Miyuki-san and Eijun-kun grows stronger and stronger, me being there will be so annoying, won't it? Even if I wanted, Miyuki-san always pick up the phone and replies sarcastically, and of course, Eijun-kun will do whatever Miyuki-san wants.._

Haruichi held his shirt and took it off to change his clothes in order to get ready to meet that _**someone.**_

_Maybe I too should make a move like Eijun-kun? But, do I really have anyone who I like? I mea-_

At that moment, the door flew opened with full force, making Haruichi gasp and stare at the one on the door step, the one who was laughing with a loud strange noisy way.

A lot of thoughts ran through Haruichi's mind: who was this? Why didn't he knock? Why is he even laughing? How can he enter without permission? More importantly-

"Wha-?"

"Hmm? Ryo-san, is tha-"

"HOW DARE YOU?" Haruichi threw his shirt which he took off on the other guy's face and quickly ran to his room to wear another one.

"Uhmph-"

Ryousuke chuckled and pulled the shirt away "I apologize for this, Kuramochi, he is just shy."

Kuramochi blinked "What? I thought he would be more like you, but it seems you guys have different personalities."

"That what makes us pretty interesting, no?" Ryousuke replied with his usual calm voice "Now, take a seat, I will go get Haruichi."

Kuramochi nodded and sat on the couch, crossing his arms, waiting for Ryousuke to get his younger brother back.

"Haruichi, he apologized for this, come out." Ryousuke knocks on the door of Haruichi's room.

"N-no-" answered from inside the room, with a shaky voice. Behind the door, Haruichi was clutching a shirt up to his own chest, he was blushing because of what happened just now, he was half-naked, in front of someone he doesn't know, for him, it was more like a shock.

"We will be waiting, make sure to come." after saying that, Ryousuke went back to Kuramochi.

Trying to calm himself down, Haruichi just nods, even though Ryousuke can't see him. He slowly puts on his shirt, he takes a deep breath, and after some minutes, he finally went out of his room to where the two other guys were.

"S-sorry for keeping you wait."

"Oh, Haruichi, you finally came. Sit down."

Haruichi slowly took a seat next to his brother, while avoiding looking at his friend.

"Ryo-san, isn't your cute little brother ignoring me here?"

"H-huh?"

Ryousuke slightly hit his brother's head "Look at him properly, will you, Haruichi?"

"B-but..wait, what's with cute?" Haruichi stood up as he blushed, his voice rose a little bit.

"Sit down, Kominato." Kuramochi laughed as he waved his hand to tell him to sit, which Haruichi did.

"Haruichi, that's the one I was talking about."

Haruichi blinked at his brother, then looked at Kuramochi. He slightly pouted at him "Oh-N-nice to meet you.."

"What? I can't hear you, kid."

"Nice to meet you!"

"Kuramochi, stop teasing him, will you?" Ryousuke laughed.

"But Ryo-san, you were right, it is interesting."

Haruichi huffed his cheeks, he was a bit angry, but he still blushed, he didn't stand this guy, Haruichi again, stood up, pointing at Kuramochi "Why do I have to see this guy, Onii-san?"

"There you go again." Sighed Ryousuke, "Well, maybe the time will come that you will have to stay with him for few days."

"What?"

"I found a part time job, a life savior. It seems like some people were lost in the mountains due to heavy snowing, and that's my first mission."

"Onii-san, what the hell?"

"That's why I will go, and you will stay with Kuramochi."

"I refuse, I can stay alone."

"Well, Haruichi," Ryousuke picked up his things and walked to his brother, patting his shoulder "You don't have to decide things, as long as I'm here, you will do as I say."

Haruichi grabbed his brother's arms "You won't go, will you?"

"I will, Haruichi, and you will stay with him."

"Onii-san!"

"Have a nice time, Haruichi. And thanks in advance, Kuramochi."

_Wait a minute. Why isn't Onii-san listening to me? Why is he leaving? Why did he choose this part-time job ,again? Why is he leaving me with that guy? I can stay at Miyuki-san's and Eijun-kun's._

_But in few seconds, the door was opened, Onii-san left, and it was closed again._

_He left.._

_He didn't listen to me._

_Ugh, I have to wait till he comes back, I will make sure to scold him later._

"Kominato."

Haruichi blinked, and slowly turned to face Kuramochi. "Kominato, I think I have to introduce myself properly. I'm Kuramochi Youichi, 27 years old, though I will be 28 soon" he laughed ", well, I don't know what do I have to say more than this but, I like video games? Let's have fun together."

Haruichi listened, he couldn't stand this guy from the very first second. "I don't plan on spending time with you, so no."

Kuramochi sighed, _Well, he maybe like his brother after all. They are both hard to deal with._

"I understand that you didn't want Ryo-san to leave but you se-" before he could finish, the door was opened, then slammed closed, in a few seconds, Haruichi began running aimlessly, trying to find his brother.

Kuramochi ran out of the house trying to look for Haruichi to see where he exactly went, but he was already out of the sight.

As for Ryousuke, he whether he made the right decision or not. He didn't plan to leave Haruichi alone, he didn't even think of it. He left the house with a heavy heart, hoping that maybe, he really made the right one.

It was already too late to turn back and go home, it was too late to see Haruichi again. It was too late to say goodbye.

_Seriously, being an older brother is such a pain. _Thought Ryousuke.

As for the two other guys, Haruichi was still running everywhere around Tokyo, he has been running, step by step, to place he knew, and place he didn't know. Till he finally got to a conclusion.

"Where..am I?" Haruichi finally noticed that he was in place he never seen before, it was almost like a poor district?, people stared at him, the place didn't look friendly, a lot of people shouting, a lot of people arguing.

Haruichi decided to try and ask, he went to the nearest shop "Umm, excuse me.."

As soon as he entered, everyone glared at him, there were a lot of creepy-looking men, one of them stood up and grabbed Haruichi arm violently.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Are you trying to look like a guy, missy?"

"Can you let go?"

"Why would I?" the man's hold got stronger, which made Haruichi flinch, it was already hard to escape from the situation. Or he thought so.

Haruichi tried to pull his hand away, but the hold only got stronger, it hurt him so much that he almost thought that if he escaped, he will lose his hand.

But fortunately, it seems like this place was reported to the police, who arrive at the right time, making Haruichi have more hope to escape. The police raised their guns to the men in the place, but Haruichi was pulled, a knife was pointed to his neck.

He was more like a hostage now.

Quickly thinking, Haruichi used his elbow to hit the man with all of his force on his chest, he could hardly free himself, but to reassure that, he used his foot to push the man away.

But the man was quicker than Haruichi, he could make a deep cut in Haruichi's leg, though it hurt so hard, he ran quickly out of the place, refusing the police help, he tried as fast as he could to get out of that district to the main street with his leg bleeding on the way behind him.

"Oh well, people said that he was close to this place.." Kuramochi was in the main street, looking around, he had asked a lot of people about Haruichi, and some of them responded, leading him to this way.

"Where did that brat go?" He clicked his tongue, he was about to turn his back to leave.

_Oh god, it hurts so much, I can't run anymore..Onii-san..if he was here, he would have been so angry about this. I want to go home already, but I am already lost, I don't know where I am. Onii-san isn't there to look for me, I only have myself.._

_Myself..?_

Haruichi was in these thoughts as he was running, he didn't realize he was already in the main street, he didn't realize that he was running, passing through the road, he didn't realize that the traffic light was still green.

_I'm alone?.._

_I think I really need him after all.._

_Kuramo-_

**_GRAB._**

Between the people's shouts, between everyone's gasps, between Haruichi's thoughts. Haruichi was quickly pulled by his arm to someone, who strongly held him. Haruichi still being in the shock that he was almost kidnapped, tried to struggle.

"Are you and idiot?"

Haruichi gasped as he heard the familiar voice that he only heard today, he quickly looked up and blinked, "Ku-Kuramochi-Sa-"

"What the fuck were you thinking about? Do you know how dangerous this place is? Not to mention that your leg is bleeding so freaking hard! How much blood have you lost?, no wonder that you look so damn tired already! Are you trying to kill yourself."

Haruichi was speechless while being scolded, he had nothing to say, after all, everything Kuramochi said was right.

"I'm sorry.." Haruichi looked down and he held Kuramochi's shoulders to remain balanced, as his injury made him a bit weaker.

Kuramochi sighed, he knelt down and in seconds, Haruichi was picked up on his arms "Well, either ways, you are fine, now let's go do something about your leg."

Haruichi panicked, he started blushing when he was picked up, and it looked more like a bridal way? Haruichi wrapped his arms around Kuramochi's neck, "Wa-wait, people are already staring."

"Let them stare, this will be more interesting."

"Huh?"

"Well, you look like a girl, and also, you are blushing so hard," Kuramochi tilted his head at Haruichi, which made him blush even more "don't we look like a cute couple?"

Haruichi shivered, he put his hands on Kuramochi's mouth, pushing his face away "N-no!"

Kuramochi laughed, while Haruichi kept blushing, but Kuramchi didn't change his mind, but kept carrying him to the hospital to treat his injured leg.

_I think, I should be more like Eijun-kun, he could make his feelings reach Miyuki-san, not to mention that they are together now. But do I have someone who I really like?_

_Maybe..we looked like a cute couple?_

_Onii-san, what should I do now? _


	9. Chapter 9

_It has been a month since then, I decided to obey Onii-san, and allow Kuramochi-san to stay with me. But ever since that happened, I just have a strange uncomfortable feeling inside me whenever he is around. Not to mention that he gets on my nerve when he picks on me, he is annoying and I just hate him...I do.._

_Well, things aren't the same for some other people though._

It is already summer vacation for Haruichi and Eijun, but as adults, Kuramochi and Miyuki have to go to work everyday, which actually makes these two guys lonely, but as for Miyuki, manages to skip work, or let's be clear, he just make Kuramochi do the rest of his work, in order to go back home as soon as possible to be with Eijun once more.

In Miyuki's point of view, he has wasted more than 5 years which he could have enjoyed being with Eijun, but it cannot be helped, both of them weren't sure what that feeling was, it was the first time they feel it. It was a bitter sweet feeling that they shared for years, without noticing.

"Hey, Eijun-kun."

"Hm? What is it, Harucchi?"

"Can I ask a weird question?"

"Ah, yeah, go ahead."

"..How do you feel when you look at Miyuki-san?"

"W-wh-what's with that question?" Eijun chuckled nervously as he blushed.

"No, it's just, I'm curious." Haruichi shrugged.

"Well, you see!" Eijun puts his own hand on his own chest and begins pulling and pushing his shirt "my heart just goes BADUM! Like that!, and then-" he shapes his hand into a tight fist and places it on Haruichi's chest, making Haruichi gasp.

"Yes! That gasp! That feeling!" Eijun remarked, making Haruichi blush and step back nodding.

Haruichi then looked at his hand, he held his shirt and did what Eijun had done just now, whispering "...like that.."

Eijun tilted his head at Haruichi's sudden questions and strange acts, he stared at him, catching Haruichi's attention back to Eijun "Wha-what is it, Eijun-kun?"

"Haruchhi...!" Eijun narrowed his eyes at Haruichi "Don't tell me, are you by chance in love with someone?"

_Yes..._

"Wha-no I'm not!, I mean who the hell will I-"

_Youichi.._

"-love?"

Eijun blinks as Haruichi suddenly gets all nervous and blushes hard, not to mention he began shaking.

"Hehe, don't tell me you like Onii-san?" Eijun teased, but Haruichi got a bit angry and started running away, "Ah! Harucchi?"

"Sorry Eijun-kun! I have to go!, so you later!"

Eijun sighed as he stood there, watching Haruichi running all the way back home, he shrugged as he turned his feet and headed to his own "Well, that was quite strange just now."

_Why? Why did he have to ask it now?_

**_Step. Step. Step._**

_Why was he the one who had to pop in my mind after that question?!_

**_Step. Step. Step._**

_Nii-san, I think I really fell in it-_

**_Grab, pull!_**

Haruichi gasped as he was suddenly pulled from his arm to someone's chest, he took a better look at his surroundings, it was for the second time he makes such a mistake, a car was going to run over him as he was running into a street when the traffic light was red.

The second time he was going to kill himself. The second time he was saved.

"Tsk, you are such a troublesome kid, why the hell don't you learn?"

Haruichi blinked at the voice, he quickly looked up to make sure of its owner.

Yes, he was saved for the second time by the same person.

"Don't just stare at me! Do you want to die so hard?"

"Youichi.."

Kuramochi blinked as he hears his first name "Huh?"

Haruichi took some time to realize what he has just said, he started blushing again, darkly, he placed his hands on Kuramochi's chest and quickly pushed him away from himself "I'm sorry! I mean Kuramochi-san!"

"H-hey!"

"Don't look at me right now!, I look pathetic!" Haruichi shouted.

"What has gotten into you so suddenly?"

"I'm so sorry!" Haruichi got himself ready to run away again, but Kuramochi quickly grabbed his wrist, preventing him from doing so.

"Listen to me, dammit! It is okay to call me by my first name!"

Haruichi stopped struggling and looked at Kuramochi "Wh-what?"

"But I have a condition." Kuramochi pulled Haruichi's wrist up to his neck, placing his free hand on the other's waist, which made Haruichi gasp and panic, "I will call you Haruichi in return."

"W-we are in the middle of the street!" Haruichi remarked.

Kuramochi giggled "Who cares? You look like a girl anyway, anyone will just say you are a tomboy or something."

"B-but-"

"If I can't flirt with girls, then I guess I will have to get it out all on you." Kuramochi laughed.

"Kuramochi-san!"

"It's Youichi, moron."

"Same goes for you, I'm no moron, but Haruichi!" though Haruichi was always blushing, he managed to regain his confidence to reply back to him.

"Fine, well, let's go back home?"

Haruichi nods as both of them walk together home.

_I fell in the hole of love.._

_I think I understood why Eijun-kun likes Miyuki-san so much, if he really give him that sweet feeling of pleasure.._

_I envy him, at least, he made sure Miyuki-san likes him back. Unlike me, I'm not sure of anything._

* * *

At Miyuki's, Eijun was sitting in the living room, hugging his knees, he kept recalling what happened between him and Haruichi, he tilted his head to the right, to the left, sighing, shrugging, talking to himself.

Watching that scene, was Miyuki who has just came back, he even said that he was back home, but Eijun was in deep thoughts, he didn't hear Miyuki, so he didn't give him an answer. Chuckling, Miyuki walked to where Eijun was, he silently reached behind him, leaning to his height, he planted a kiss on the nape of his neck, which made Eijun gasp and jump from his place, falling to the ground. Miyuki blinked, then started laughing.

"What? You! Don't surprise me like that!" Eijun blushed as he shouted, he placed a hand on the kissed spot, the other pointing at Miyuki.

Miyuki grabbed his arms, he pulled him up to his feet "It is more fun to scare you, you know." Miyuki remarked.

Eijun pouted, Miyuki sighed as he let go off his arms, placing his hands in his pockets "What is it?"

"Huh?"

"You were thinking about something a while ago, right?" Miyuki tried to look serious, but he suddenly began laughing hard, he clutched his stomach.

"Ka-Kazuya?"

"Sorry, sorry, you see, you looked so cute back then, I can't help it."

Eijun blushed "Tsk, stop it!"

"Fine, so what is it?" Miyuki took a deep breath to stop laughing.

"You see, it is Harucchi, he has been acting weird."

"Weird?"

"Yeah, he asked me strange questions, he also ran away today, he doesn't let me into their place, do you think he hates me?" Eijun started to panic

"Hmm.." Miyuki grabbed a glass of water to drink as Eijun panics, "Oh no, I don't, you guys have always been best friends, don't worry about that. But what were the _strange _questions?"

"W-well.." Eijun looked away, slightly blushing "l-like how do I feel when you are there, o-or something?"

Miyuki smirked as he sighs "I would love to hear your answer."

"No! I'm not telling you!"

"If you did, I will give you a kiss."

"OK fine! I told him you made my heart go like this!" Eijun held his shirt and started pulling it forward and backward many times, making Miyuki giggle.

"What a silly answer."

"Your turn." Eijun walked to where Miyuki was.

"Huh?"

"I want to know," Eijun grabbed Miyuki's shirt collar, pulled him closer to his own face "how does Miyuki Kazuya feel when we are like this?"

Miyuki blinked as he suddenly blushed, making Eijun blink back, it was the first time he sees Miyuki react like that. Miyuki held Eijun's shoulders, slightly pushing him away, then quickly tries to hide his face with his arm.

"Kazuya?"

"I think this has answered your question, no?" Miyuki managed to stop blushing, he went again with his usual smirk, as he brushed his hair off his forehead, looking at Eijun as if nothing has happened.

Eijun smiled at him, he gasped as he remembered "Ah, my kiss!"

"What kiss?"

"You promised to give me a kiss if I answered you."

"Hmm? I don't remember." Miyuki answered teasingly.

"If you don't give me one, I will run away like that time!" Eijun pointed at a nearby window.

"Well, you won't do it anyway." Miyuki smirked with full confidence

"Ah, but I-uh..! Dammit!" Eijun struggled to find a reply, he rubbed his hair as he tried to think.

Miyuki laughed, he wrapped an arm around Eijun's neck, pulling him closer, he gave him a kiss on his forehead "Well, a promise is a promise after all."

"You could have done that earlier!"

"Shall I take it back?"

"No!"

_Harucchi, I don't know what secret you are hiding from me. But if by any chance you really love someone, try telling them. Go express your feelings in every way possible. I would like you to try how it feels, to have someone you cherish, to be loved, to have this mutual feeling between yourself and the one you love. It's a bless. Go for it, Harucchi._

* * *

[Hey everyone! This is the author talking! Do you expect if only to end soon? How do you think it will? Let's hope it is not heartbreaking, OK? hope you had fun!]


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